3-day

September 2, 2012

A few years after graduating from University I noticed that I wasn’t very happy. By all accounts I had no reason to feel this way: a decent career, great friends, a healthy family, nothing to complain about. And yet I couldn’t shake the feeling that some days I didn’t want to get out of bed.

I had (and still have) friends who suffer from various forms and intensities of depression¹. I did not realize at the time just how prevalent mental illness was, but I still knew that I didn’t want any part of it. I was genuinely worried that I might be suffering from more than just the blues.

I wasn’t sure, so I decided to implement what at the time seemed like a pretty clever lifehack. Every morning I would log, on a scale of 1-10, how happy and energized I felt. Just one number. And then based on what I wrote, I would choose my activities accordingly.

If the number was high, say 7 or above, I would go try to be all that I could be. If the number was 3 or lower, I would indulge myself in low-effort tasks and usually just spend the day watching movies and playing video games. I was working from home and mostly independently at the time so I didn’t have to deal with going into the office every day. That was a big help in pulling this off.

I had some simple rules during these low-energy days (that I later dubbed “3-days”). No command decisions, no new projects, and no difficult work. Any time I found myself doubting the direction my life was taking, questioning my important relationships, or impatiently re-thinking a major work initiative I would remind myself that it was a 3-day, and I didn’t make these kinds of moves on a 3-day.

This was a big relief. It was an instant excuse to short-circuit the downward spiral of doubt, fear, anxiety and guilt that I remember feeling during those days. And I got a lot of gaming in too.

I started to find that 3-days were often followed immediately by 5- or 6- days, which were then often followed by 7-, 8- or 9- days. It was rare that I had two 3-days in a row and I don’t think I ever had three in a row.

As soon as I realized this my 3-days became even less stressful². I became confident that the way I felt right now wouldn’t last long. If I just concentrated on taking care of myself today and not doing too much damage I would be better equipped to face the world the next day. Or the day after. After a few months I didn’t need the log any more.

I still have 3-days. I think everyone does. But recognizing them, and acting accordingly, have worked for me so far.